


Broken Hearts Don't Usually Wait Around For Break-Ups

by ObviouslyOtter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established relationship kinda sorta, Hurt, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), This isn't a cheating fic don't worry loves, it's more like a different version of secrecy, we're all afraid of commitment deep inside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObviouslyOtter/pseuds/ObviouslyOtter
Summary: It was never meant to be conventional, Steve guessed. The easy way never left satisfaction in its wake.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Stony
Kudos: 18





	Broken Hearts Don't Usually Wait Around For Break-Ups

He liked the rooftops. So simple from above like you could just fix everything by placing things here and there with your hands. Steve liked the night time too because it was so full of adventure. Things happened at night just like they did during the day, it simply looked prettier. He could argue that darkness put a filter over the world because of how dazed he felt walking through the streets. Steve promptly decided that those same rules applied to the beach he was looking at. That the waves crashing against the shore and each other was just as romantic as the beeping and revving of cars. The way the pale white moonlight cascaded onto the Earth, making the water sparkle and glimmer. Phytoplankton lighting up the water like tiny fairies. 

It was perfect.

He whispers sweet nothings into Tony’s ear, caressing all that he can touch. His hands in sync with his motives. Letting his mind wander about their future, making sure Tony heard every idea. How they could just run away together. That he should leave her. He can make the pain feel sweet and savory. Tony’s easy laughter filling the air, furthering his motives. Tony’s back slumped against his chest, warming it up, chasing away whatever cold he may feel. Hearing Tony’s small agreements after he told him how they were going to live. The cautious mhm’s and yeah’s fueling Steve’s drive to pick Tony up and ride them away on his motorcycle. Instead, he used that to litter Tony’s neck with kisses, leaving a couple of bruises behind. _Just for proof_ , Steve convinced himself.

It isn’t permanent though, Tony pushes him away after a while, suddenly done with his love, or maybe just the physical part of it. Like a timer suddenly went off or a candle that was blown out by a wisp of wind. Not a word spoken, yet the mood shifted drastically. Steve understood why he did it. And what’s understood doesn’t need to be said. 

“I know why you’re like this.”

“Oh? Enlighten me then, Captain,” he said, pulling out a cigarette.

“You like the cycle we go through. The familiarity of rinse and repeat, over and over again. It hurts like a bitch-”

“Language.”

Steve chuckles softly, it was an old joke at this point but it was comforting. But he wasn’t done speaking on the topic. He still needed to let the words out, set them free from the conclaves of his broken and faded heart. Words that rested dormant inside of his heart only awoken by the thought of Tony and the residual guilt that stuck afterward. Tony was great at distracting Steve from what really lies beneath the surfaces.

He let a couple seconds pass knowing that Tony only joked to move away from the topic. So in response, he moved closer. Tony ignored the movement, his focus solely on smoking his cigarette and looking out to the horizon. 

“It hurts Tony. It hurts all of the time. It’s just that sometimes the pain feels good. It’s alluring for all of the right reasons, the bad ones. And when you’re done going through the struggle and pain, you’re left feeling invigorated. Like you used your soul to push through and at the end, it was truly worth it.” Steve stopped momentarily to breathe. The damn super-soldier serum wasn’t good for much if Tony could leave him breathless from a couple of sentences that _he_ spoke. He continued nevertheless. “But, everything eventually has a diminishing return and the pain hurts. You push through the pain waiting for it to finally feel good, to be familiar. But when it’s done, this time, you feel soulless once more. This time though, there was no fire. So there’s no heat to bathe in afterward. You’re left cold and lonely with the shame that you put yourself through so much in order to feel so little.” 

Tony didn’t respond, he just put out his cigarette and stood up, stretching his body, giving the moon a reason to shine down on him. _What a small god_ , Steve thought. Steve didn’t think he was perfect, no not one bit, not for a second. However, he liked it when Tony showed his soft flaws around him. Not the narcissism or the badly made quick decisions that often left himself in danger. No, Steve liked the flaws that Tony only showed him. Like right now when Steve called them out on their toxicity. He fails to address the problem because it’ll hurt to think about it. It’ll hurt the next morning when their drowning in sorrow, regret, and lies. Promises that Steve would make at night and couldn’t keep in the morning. Steve liked those flaws because it showed that Tony cared. That he was learning how to deal with these things and was willing to make a change. Whether it was for Steve or not, he didn’t care. Because he was the person who got to see Tony change behind the scenes. 

Tony turns around, finally fully looking at Steve. Not upwards from underneath the sunglasses, not at Steve’s hand, but fully looking at him. Steve’s heart freezes and his blood runs cold almost instantly. He once thought that Tony was an extension of Howard but it would seem that maybe Howard was a precursor to Tony. His fate would always lead him to Tony, because right now, he was never so sure that this is where he wanted to be in life, with Anthony’s gaze directly upon him, and _only_ him.

The stare between them doesn’t waver until Steve hears a car coming down the road. He turns his head toward the sound then back to Tony, realization kicking up the dread. _It was over again._

“Do this again next Thursday?” Tony said in that classic nonchalantly sarcastic voice of his, another cigarette already in his hand. 

Steve just grimaced and picked himself up. He wanted to argue, to tell Tony to come with him. In moments like these, he was willing to do anything to be with him. The vroom of the car engine roared which meant Happy and Pepper were nearing closer. _I don’t have much time left._

He grabbed Tony and planted a messy, passionate kiss on his lips. Tony returned it with the same fiery passion he received it with. Tony’s returned intensity didn’t surprise him. He knew deep down, somewhere, Tony wanted to be with him and only him. But they were too far deep, too strung along the dark highway filled with secrecy and avoidance. It was a dance but it wasn’t as fluid and beautiful as the tango. As they twirled in this dance they created boundaries and structures wherever their footfalls laid. When they were together like this, they created their own world. 

When Steve opened his eyes again he saw the headlights of the car move among the trees as the car pulled into the driveway. Thankfully the building’s architecture shielded them from prying eyes. 

“Tony!” Pepper yelled from the driveway, “I’m sorry okay? Please come talk to me!”

Steve raised his eyebrow at Tony. “I think that you should go now,” was all Tony had to offer him. Steve nodded and turned to leave but not before landing one last quick peck on Tony’s lips. 

“I love you, Anthony.” He jumped off the roof and ran into the dense forestation. He looked back at Tony, trying to take in what he could. Savoring each drop of memory and keeping it inside the dark recess of his heart. Tony stood there with unwavering confidence in his white tank top, no doubt already forming his plan on what to say to Pepper, he flicked the cigarette and walked off. 

Steve followed the forestation to the back of the estate where there was a little hidden shortcut in that Tony had made for Steve. He grabbed his motorcycle and began to walk with it until he could safely ride it without raising suspicion. As he rode back to base where the rest of the rouge Avengers were, he wondered when Tony and Pepper’s next break up would be. He hated it thoroughly. Having to wait for the next time something went wrong with someone else’s relationship. 

But that’s the way things were. He wishes that he could take off his helmet and feel the wind slap his face. He wishes that he could convince the team to just get back together, to work anew. He wishes that the world wasn’t so full of hate, that walking hand and hand with another man was fully accepted. You see, Steve wishes for a lot of things. 

Most of all, he wishes that he could turn back time so he could love Tony sooner.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello loves! I hope you like it. I made this because I was thinking about the number of breaks in Tony and Pepper's relationship and how some probably weren't put in the movie. I just want to explore the idea of Tony and Steve only being in a relationship when they shouldn't be/are in between relationships. I read a lot of fluff and comfort Stony lately and this is where my brain takes me! Anyway, enjoy it!
> 
> With love, ObviouslyOtter xoxo <3


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